Me and crumpets have got history. My first attempt was a complete failure; the batter was wrong, the cooking was wrong, the finished product was wronger than wrong. I ended up with a pile of stodgy, under cooked discs, which lacked that most distinguishing and important of crumpet features – holes. If they don’t have holes then the butter can’t get in. Enough said.

My second attempt was more promising, mostly down to the good advice of Bea, who suggested I use a different recipe and make a couple of tweaks. The batter this time was spectacularly gaseous and I was effervescent with excitement. The bubbles in the batter rise to the top during cooking and burst, leaving that essential network of butter channels. I thought I’d nailed it. Well, I thought Bea had nailed it.

They did produce some holes – an improvement on the first attempt, but still not good enough. Bea was flummoxed and I was inconsolable until some helpful soul ventured to ask the rather personal question, “how old is your bicarbonate of soda?” I hung my head in shame and squeaked out the admission: “don’t really know; at least two years, probably three, maybe four.”

That was back in July. Despite being certain that this embarrassing discovery marked the end of my crumpet woes, I just couldn’t face making them again until now. The thought of a third failure too traumatic perhaps? Well, it almost happened again; I forgot to put the bicarb in. I honestly couldn’t believe what was happening, but through the mist of disappointment and dizzying fog of frustration I just slung it in half an hour late, re-mixed, re-covered and hoped for the best.

And…it worked. Hallelujah! They were spongy and light, with more holes than an OJ Simpson alibi. Finally, a recipe for crumps that I can rely on, and of course I’ve learned a thing or two about making them along the way. Here it is:

1. Using rings is a right faff. You have to oil them repeatedly (until you can’t be bothered any more) and lift them up using tongs while simultaneously trying to release the crumpet with a knife. Next time I’ll freestyle.

2. Making crumpets takes time. If you try and rush them (by turning up the heat) they will burn on the bottom before they are cooked on top.

3. Keeping bicarbonate of soda for longer than two years is skanky and pointless.

4. I’ve made every single mistake in the book so you don’t have to.

Crumpets

This mix makes about 14 crumpets. Just think, if you remember to put your bicarb in at the right time, your crumps could have even more holes than mine! (Edit: Miss Marmite Lover has made a brilliant suggestion in the comments: she adds more bicarb than the recipe suggests. Obvious now I think about it. This is a brilliant way to get more holes).

360g plain flour
2 teaspoons active dry yeast
580ml warm milk
1.5 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

Combine the yeast and sugar with 250ml of the warm milk in a bowl. Do make sure the milk is just warm, not hot. Cover and leave in a warm place to rest for about 10 minutes until frothy.

Sift the flour, salt and bicarbonate of soda into another bowl then make a well in the centre and add the yeasty mix along with the rest of the warm milk. Mix this to a thick batter using a wooden spoon. Cover it with cling film and allow to rest in a warm place for about an hour. The film will rise up as gases build up inside. This is good. The result is an extremely light and aerated batter.

Heat a wide pan over a medium heat then turn down fairly low. Use a piece of kitchen paper to wipe vegetable or groundnut oil over the base so it is coated in a nice film. Do the same to your rings if using or you can freestyle (i.e drop blobs of batter into the pan). Allow to cook for about 8 minutes or so or until they appear ‘dry’ on top, then flip them over to toast lightly for a minute on the other side. Remove to a wire rack to cool. Repeat as necessary. They can then be re-heated under a grill to crisp up more before serving. Spread liberally with butter and then rejoice in their holey juiciness.

A huge thank you once again to Bea. Without your advice I may never have lifted myself from the depths of crumpy despair.

Recently, Katy from Sugarlaws posted a recipe for mini spinach frittatas. The recipe originated from Kalyn’s Kitchen, where she describes them as ‘egg muffins’. Having recently bought myself a brand spanking new muffin tray, I decided to play around with the quantities a little and knock up some super-quick egg muffins! They are so easy to make and there must be endless variations. These were great to snack on once cold and I also like Kalyn’s idea of eating the muffins for breakfast given that I am currently trying to cut down on bread.

I am attempting to reduce my wheat intake as, for some time now, I’ve suspected I may be intolerant. Not allergic, just intolerant. I have all the symptoms, but I am so reluctant to give it up that I just keep plodding along! Apparently, a significant symptom of wheat intolerance is a craving to eat wheat-containing foods such as bread, pasta and the like, which would explain why I keep putting it off. So I’ve decided to cut down and start weaning myself off slowly. After all, I may be able to tolerate a little wheat? Possibly? Hopefully?!

I made the egg muffins with ingredients I had to hand which were leeks and Stilton. I also added a very generous amount of black pepper to the beaten egg mixture as I wanted the black pepper to be a major flavour and not just a background seasoning. I used eight medium eggs for this recipe, having tried it with six and then deciding that I needed more.The 6-muffin tin I used has deep trays which I filled around 3/4 full. I think the best way is to put your ingredients into the tray, whatever the size, then pour on your egg mixture until each cup is 3/4 full. Then you can just beat up some more eggs if you find you don’t have enough to go around.

The muffins souffled out of the tin rather impressively which caused much excitement for me as I removed them from the oven. They sink very quickly however, as you can see from the picture below. I have to say, the final results are not aesthetically pleasing – they look like wrinkly, spongy blobs, but they taste fantastic! So thank you to Kalyn for her brilliant idea. Although I like to keep things veggie sometimes, I think the addition of some meat like bacon or chorizo would be delicious.

Stilton, Leek and Black Pepper Egg Muffins

180g leeks, washed and finely shredded
80g Stilton, crumbled
8 medium eggs, beaten
Sea salt
Black pepper
Oil, for greasing + one table spoon for frying the leeks

1 six-large-muffin tin

-Grease the muffin tin and preheat the oven to 190 degrees C.
-Gently soften the the leeks in 1 table spoon olive oil for 5 minutes or so until cooked.
-Divide the leeks evenly between the muffin trays and do the same with the Stilton.
-Season the beaten egg mixture with a generous amount of salt and a very generous amount of black pepper (I put a lot of black pepper in the mixture but I think it could have taken more).
-Beat again and pour into each muffin tray until roughly 3/4 full. Give each tray a little stir with a fork.
-Bake for 15-20 minutes until risen, firm and golden.
-If you are a blogger – photograph them quickly, they will sink!!