Cooking For One

How many times have you heard people say that they ‘cook to relax’? I don’t. I can only cook in fact, when I’m relaxed to start off with. If I’m upset then kitchen time goes out of the window. Like a wheel coming off a cart, I become de-railed when down. How do you think I’m so good at pimping instant noodles? It’s not JUST because I spent so much time getting drunk in my yoof, you know. Eye roll.

Cooking for one can make it even harder to get motivated, supposedly. When I’m on form I generally don’t have a problem cooking 8 curries then living off them for a week until I see chunks of paneer instead of ice cubes in my gin and tonic but hey, I’ve heard of the problem. Anyway on Friday I was staring down the barrel of Dinner Alone, and Friday, in case you didn’t notice, was Valentine’s day (if you didn’t notice you’re clearly not on Twitter). Everybody is supposed to hate Valentine’s day. I don’t. I don’t like it either, I just feel completely and utterly indifferent about it, or at least I did, until I had a book out about food and dating, then all of a sudden I became all like, ‘URGH, why are you all so MISERABLE?’ It’s because I’m paranoid that no-one will realise that the book is supposed to be a bit of fun. Everyone will think I’m a massive sell out! I’m one step away from writing for, for, for, I dunno, somewhere shit!

Anyway so it’s supposed to be a bit of a laugh, this new little book of mine, and while I may never reach the dizzy heights of prose achieved in Barbara Cartland’s magnificent tome, The Romance of Food (seriously, get it, it’s incredible), I’ve had a damn good go. Also my book contains recipes that are actually good. So for Vally D I decided to bust out a recipe from it. Actually it’s more of a lesson in method – how to cook an awesome steak. It really does work, by the way, and on the previous page I tell you how to mix the perfect martini which contains 90 whole mls of gin. Yuh huh.

So I bought a magnificent 550g rib eye from Flock and Herd and ate it all to myself while watching House of Cards because I am a restaurant widow and apparently Valentine’s day is a busy night for the trade or some such rubbish. Pfft.

Cook Your Date Into Bed is available on Amazon now

It looks like the crust isn’t dark enough in this photo which is annoying. Trust me, that one crussssssty bastard.


Category: Books, Meat, My book! | Tags: , , , 13 comments »

13 Responses to “Cooking For One”

  1. Gene

    Crusty Bastard? I get called that a lot! Valentine’s Day found me in a bar with some of my lesbian friends, who were dateless, as was I. A lot of drinking and a lot of fun! If you just toss all the romantic baggage that normally comes with Valentine’s Day to the side, it can become a nice respectable drinking holiday like St Patrick’s Day or Cinco de Mayo.

  2. Helen

    Oh how lovely! Cruuuuusssssty. I agree with the drinking thing. I got suitably drunk be reassured. The cheesy stuff is, well, cheesy. It should be ditched. Valentine’s day is bollocks, let’s face it, but my book is good so HA.

  3. Gene

    Your book looks like a lot of fun and there’s nothing quite as seductive as an expertly cooked steak!

  4. Miss Whiplash

    I also had ribeye on Friday, innit.

    It was the tits.

  5. Bron

    I had rump on Friday, cooked just like that. Sadly, I had to share…

  6. Helen

    An outrage.

  7. Helen

    It’s more the ribs really but hey (sorry)

  8. David

    I tend to find cooking is only really relaxing when I have a large glass of wine to hand.

    I call it channelling my inner Floyd.

  9. Su-Lin

    That’s the way to do Valentine’s Day!

  10. Helen

    I think it was the best Vally D ever

  11. Helen

    True say David, true say.

  12. Pete

    You had a 550g rib eye all to yourself. You are my heroine.

  13. Helen

    I did, and thank you. It’s nice to finally get some recognition.

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