Be Afraid, Very Afraid…I’ve Written A Book

So I’ve written a book. Yikes! It’s called 101 Sandwiches and is due to be published by Dog n Bone Books in the autumn. What’s that? You think sandwiches aren’t important enough to fill a whole book? Think. Again. There are some incredible sangers being eaten around the world and I’ve selected the best of them. There’s a recipe for every sandwich featured and the book will have chapters on all time classics; street food; curry and spice; summer and BBQ; ‘project sandwiches’ for when you’re feeling ambitious; well connected sandwiches; a luxe category and also some sweet tings for you strange people who like that weird sugar stuff.

The sandwiches featured veer from the well known like the Japanese katsu sando and the American Reuben, through some you may not have heard of like the Barros Luco, the vada pav and rou jia mo, then right out to the other side to the outrageous, like the francesinha which is a Portugese beast featuring several types of meat, cheese and BEER SAUCE. Beer. Sauce. There’s even a contribution from everyone’s favourite pub landlord, Oisin Rogers of The Ship, who dreamily explains the concept of the fridge buffet.

I thought I’d also offer a little bit of advice for anyone else who is thinking about  writing a book. So here goes…

1. Do NOT, under any circumstances, download ‘Ninja Fishing‘ for the Iphone.

2. Get a lot of tea in. I thought I drank a lot of tea but it turns out I knew nothing about the upper limits of normal. Nothing.

3. Have other people around like housemates, mates, boyfriend/girlfriend so when someone says, ‘does anyone want anything from the shop?’ You can shout YES!! I would like this and this and this and TEA and this and MILK and this and this and this and on and on and on until they HATE you. Then when your book is published they will feel obliged to buy and rave about it and they will hate you even more*.

3. Buy several new sets of pyjamas. You’ll be spending a lot of time in them.

4. Find a comfy place to work. I’m not a freelancer, and so I’m not used to working from home. Writing a book perched on a wooden kitchen chair with an insufficiently padded cushion beneath your numb arse cheeks for 5 hours is not the way forward.

5. Do not do a PhD at the same time as writing a book.

6. Do not do a a 9-5 job at the same time as a PhD at the same time as writing a book.

7. Download some proper writing software. I had a conversation with a friend that went like this:

Him: ‘what software are you using?’

Me: ‘say what now?’

Him: Oh Jesus, you’re not using Word are you?’

Me: ‘er, yeah’

Him: ‘PAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA (seriously you need to download Scrivener)’

So there we have it. Pretty profound shit I think you’ll agree. As I say, the book will be out in the autumn. At the moment someone else is doing the photography and that kind of stuff which is frankly a huge relief because the idea of ‘food styling’ makes me want to poke myself in the eye with cutlery tied together with raffia, or perhaps a piece of gingham ribbon.

 *small voice* please buy it…

Category: 101 Sandwiches, My book!, Sandwiches | Tags: , , , , , , 120 comments »

120 Responses to “Be Afraid, Very Afraid…I’ve Written A Book”

  1. nuttycow (@nuttycow)

    Congratulations! I can’t wait to have a look. Will we get any sneak previews?

  2. Helen

    Thank you! I’ll see what I can do *tee hee* (yes)

  3. Shaymabreakfast

    Many, many congrats! You are amazing – so happy for you. Well done, you xo s

  4. Helen

    can I have a free signed copy? ;)

  5. Helen

    Thank you Shayma! Very exciting.

  6. Helen

    Donald you need to sign out of my account before you comment, it looks like I’m talking to myself ;)

  7. Donald Edwards

    can I have a free signed copy? :)

  8. Helen

    I SUPPOSE so

  9. Asma

    Sandwiches are not my thing usually….you make it sound so exciting! I look forward to buying your book….your comments about writing at home made me laugh…I just finished my PhD and could totally relate to that!

  10. Food Urchin

    A book about sandwiches???? But Helen, what do you know about sandwiches? I don’t think I have ever heard you even mention them before, let alone write about them…….

    Seriously, congratulations, looking forward to see it in the flesh, or pulped wood form, or whatevs…

  11. Helen

    Ha ha ha ha, a fellow ‘sufferer’! Perhaps I can covert the non-sandwich lover?

  12. Helen

    I KNOW, RIGHT?! I’d barely eaten them before…(also thanks!)

  13. Helen

    Ah massive congrats! Cannot wait for this!

  14. Helen

    Thank you!

  15. Chloe

    AMAZING. I can’t wait to see it. Huge congratulations!!

  16. Helen

    Thanks Chloe!

  17. Meemalee

    Brilliant news! I’m not keen on sarnies, but I’m happy to be converted!

  18. Helen

    Ha ha, excellent. I shall spread the sandwich love!

  19. saskia

    can’t wait to get this! already have the encyclopedia of sandwiches under my belt as a bible but this looks even better.

  20. Alicia (foodycat)

    I will pay actual cash money for this! There are many sandwiches that intrigue me but I’ve never made them because I want a definitive recipe (medianoche, monte cristo, kentucky hot brown) and I look to you to provide!

  21. Helen

    Thank you! I hope you like it.

  22. Helen

    HA HA! Actual cash! Love it. I actually could do another 101…

  23. Su-Lin

    Wooo! Congratulations, Helen!

  24. Helen

    Thanks Su-Lin!

  25. aoife @ the gannet

    i am very very excited about this.

  26. Helen


  27. Victoria

    This is the best thing since sliced bread!

  28. Tori

    Congratulations! It looks amazing. Nb, the software tip actually is gold. I wish someone had said that to me before I got 7/8 of the way through mine.

  29. Helen

    YES! Been waiting for a sandwich pun.

  30. Helen

    Thank you! Yeah…it’s a corker alright. Thank you to Andrew Webb for that one (

  31. Paul

    Congratulations !
    Finishing is a bitch.
    Scrivener is the way to go best writing software I’ve ever used.

  32. Helen

    Thank you! I agree, finishing is, indeed, a bitch

  33. Gill Watson

    Congratulations! The awful thing is that one feels obliged to start cleaning the effing house again once the book is put to bed. Today I loathe sandwiches after doing a ‘simple’ sandwich lunch for 25 (charity do). How can it take so bloody long to make 5×25 sandwiches? Promise to buy your book to read what I’m doing wrong.

  34. Helen

    Ha ha ha ha. Answer is it takes a looooong time. It also means a lot of weight gain.

  35. Gin and Crumpets

    Fantastic – look forward to reading it!

  36. Helen

    Cheers J!

  37. Becs @ Lay the table

    Congrats Helen, I can wait to drool all over it. Will you let us know when we can pre-order/post a link?

  38. Jimlad

    Fantastic news, well done Helen! To be a not satisfied customer here though, what about all of your other superb recipes? Are we going to see any of them in print? I bought Lisa’s book based on her blog ( Well worth a read!

  39. Helen

    Will do! And thanks.

  40. Helen

    Well, you never know Jimlad…watch this space ;)

  41. Bron

    Brilliant! Look forward to finding a new sandwich or two

  42. Helen

    I hope so!

  43. Jess

    One word: AMAZING. In the words of Liz Lemon – ‘I believe that all anyone really wants in life, is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich’.

  44. Helen

    Goddamit I wish I’d put that quote in the book!

  45. Yas

    Yup, this makes sense. Not many people SHOULD be doing it, but you’re certainly one of them. You dish it out lady, and i’ll pay hard cash.

  46. Suz

    Amazing, I can’t wait to get my hands on this. Congratulations!

  47. Helen

    Ha ha! Thank you. Awesome comment.

  48. Helen

    Cheers Suz!

  49. James

    I look forward to this and being inspired for my 2014 lunches….

  50. Helen

    Cheers James!

  51. Eileen

    Congratulations on your book! So wait, if you’re doing a PhD while writing a cookbook, aren’t you writing two books at once? WOW. You win. :)

  52. Ben

    Have pre-ordered on Amazon. Can. Not. Wait.

  53. Helen

    Aww cheers Ben! I didn’t even realize it was available for pre order until someone told me!

  54. Helen

    Ha ha! GOOD POINT.

  55. Jacqueline

    Good for you Helen. I look forward to reading it. Hope there are some veggie ones in there.

  56. Ino

    Job, phd AND book? Are you superwoman or something? I am seriously impressed.

    The book looks great, can’t wait to read it and get making some sandwiches!

  57. Bistro Becs

    Fantastic news – congratulations! Looking forward to seeing it in the flesh :-)

  58. Helen


  59. Helen

    AND a nervous breakdown!

  60. Helen

    Thank you! And of course…

  61. Mark M

    Great post – looking fwd to working on the book!

  62. Helen

    Thanks Mark!

  63. Russ

    Very VERY well done Helen. Looking forward to getting a copy. Hope you’ll be doing a launch event of some kind so we can buy direct from you or the publisher rather than through Amazon etc. Or do online pre-order numbers help the publisher decide on how many will be in the first print run?

  64. Helen

    Thanks Russ! As for the launch, yes, probably. As for the publishing question, absolutely no idea whatsoever.

  65. msmarmitelover

    Looking forward to this. And thanks for the info about Scrivener, I didn’t know about that and am embarking upon two books as we speak…

  66. Helen

    Excellent, glad to be of assistance! It’s awesome.

  67. Amanda

    Gorgeous post – made me giggle.
    Nice tip about the software – I had no idea either.
    I can’t wait to see the book – hope it makes it to the antipodes.

  68. Y

    AWESOME. Massive congrats. Ever thought about also writing a book about how to write a book?

  69. Kavey

    How lovely. I don’t do enough with sandwiches really. I ought to. I do love them.

  70. Biggest Jim

    Nice work, helen! Let me know when you’re doing the book signing and I’ll come along to buy a signed copy. Failing that, add my email to your mailing list when the book comes out and I’ll buy a copy on Amazon.

  71. Rosie

    Go Go gadget….Helen! ?
    I could happily live on sandwiches alone so will definitely be buying your book and I have no doubt you’ll have found the very best sarnies to put in there.
    So when’s the 101 spicy dishes edition happening? (no pressure ;D)

  72. Helen

    So do I! Ha ha.

  73. Helen

    Ooh now there’s an idea, although I think that’s about all the advice I have in me ha ha.

  74. Helen

    Yes! Everyone should be eating more sandwiches.

  75. Helen

    Aww cheers Jim! Will do.

  76. Helen

    yay! A fellow fanatic. Hmmm 101 spicy dishes eh..I’ll get onto it.

  77. Russell Lewis

    A lifetime of sandwiches:

    Childhood: Jam or Tomato Sauce (Did I have them together once)
    Teens: Chip Butties
    Inter Years: Anything so I can get back to work early (wasted food experiences)
    Twilight Years: At last perfection with thick slices of wholemeal bread, four pieces of back bacon grilled so the fat is crispy, add lashings of Worcester Sauce. Now you are talking!!! (Will that make your book, call it number 102)

  78. Helen

    Ha! Well sure ill put it in (possible fib)

  79. Jordi

    How exciting! Congratulations

  80. Helen

    Cheers Jordi!

  81. niamh

    Such awesome news. Sounds like a great book. Can’t wait to see it. Your advice is spot on.


  82. Luis

    Looks great! I’d love a sneaky preview. In particular I love visual design, and I’d like to see how this was done in the book.

  83. MattB

    Massive congratulations! And props, too: most people struggle to write a PhD while having absolutely nothing else to do other than write a PhD. I know I did!

    More importantly, though, has the Trinidadian ‘bake and shark’ made it into 101 sandwiches? If not, you have to try it and it has to be in Vol. 2! Just watch Andrew Zimmern on Youtube trying to keep it in his shorts while eating two of the buggers.

  84. Helen

    The advice is spot on …. and you know it…. x

  85. Helen


  86. Helen

    Awesome, I’ve never heard of the bake and shark. However I will look it up. Stat. Also, what was your PhD in?

  87. Ashley Bee (Quarter Life Crisis Cuisine)

    Ohhh congrats on the book! I want to read it and make all the yummy sandwiches :)

  88. Jesse Brown

    God bless you Helen. Your site has turned me into a sandwich fiend and now you have given me the pefect thing to fulfill my fiendish desires. Sandwiches rock!

  89. Helen

    Thank you! Hope you enjoy it.

  90. Helen

    Ha! Another convert. Result!

  91. Gabriel

    This book seems to be interesting, looking forward to take a look at it it so much!

  92. Rachel McGrath

    Oooh I like the look of this!

  93. MattB

    Hey, the bake and shark is amazing! It’s in the Naparima book; have you got it yet?

    Did my PhD in Caribbean politics/development… that’s how I ended up out here!

  94. Helen

    Yes I got it and now I can’t find it! I’m just moving house so when I sort my books out…

  95. Helen

    I hope you like it!

  96. Abigail Scheuer

    I love sandwiches and I love books. I think that the combination must be splendid. Will definitely check it out!

  97. rej

    oh my good god this sounds amazing. Consider it bought!

  98. Helen

    Thanks Rej!

  99. Jonathan

    Amazing. This is wonderful news. It looks amazing and I can’t wait to get my mits on a copy. Mah-usive congratulations.

  100. Helen

    Awww my fellow sandwich fan originale! Cheers dude.

  101. Tony

    Hi Helen congrats! I meant to write to you – on your sandwich blog – about the Connaught’s (the Mayfair hotel) Croque Monsieur – served from 12-3 in the brassiere – it’s the best in town ;) Tony

  102. Helen

    I shall check it out! Never found a good one. Thanks!

  103. Jackie

    Massive congratulations to you! Great work :))

  104. Helen

    Thanks Jackie!

  105. Tony

    Just had a Croque at Connaught – they changed it to a toasty lol don’t dont do it!!

  106. Helen

    Whaaaaaa?! Not good though?

  107. Tony

    Yep it was good but new style – not worth going just for the Croque uses you r passing – your truffle version should be on menu!

  108. Helen

    Well, I agree, quite frankly. It should.

  109. leigh

    congrats! Love how it looks (that font you use for your title, love it) – I’ve got my book out in May (the first of many I hope) and people don’t realise how much hard work goes into it. Well done and best of luck! Right, off to Amazon now to wish list it….!

  110. Helen

    Thanks! I didn’t really have anything to do with the design to be honest but thanks anyway! Ha ha. Also, yeah, it’s hard work. What’s yours called?

  111. FeedTheTang

    Sorry I am so late to this amazing news! Congrats Helen!

  112. Helen

    Aww thank you!

  113. Chris

    Blimely Helen, glad you have got through it all. Just handed in draft myself and it sounds like you have had an interesting: OK- lets move,get ill, work full time and finish a PhD -lets do 100+ hours a week, not moving /increasing girth ride too! Think both aged since MSc!

    If you are having a book launch can I come? As long as sandwiches of course :)

  114. Helen

    Yeah, still doing the PhD here though! Damn that part time option ha ha. Yes I have aged a LOT since MSc! And yes of course you can come to the book launch :)

  115. Cinabar

    Congrats on the book – loved your advice to, made me lol :-)

  116. lars samuelson

    I’ve just orderd your book on on amazon- I just love sandwiches or smorgasar as they are known in sweden. love your site good luck

  117. Helen

    There’s a smorrebrod inside! You must forgive the misprint on the pronunciation however!

  118. lars samuelson

    I’v gotten your book fantastic! I will start baking this weekend. My wife loves it too!!
    Oh! happy day :o)

  119. Helen

    Fab! So pleased you like it. And thank you for letting me know!

  120. Lars Samueslon

    Now I’v done a couple of them just wonderful, but I’m gaining weight (just kidding)
    Fantasic book you’v done. Ceep up the good work

Leave a Reply

Back to top