So I’ve written a book. Yikes! It’s called 101 Sandwiches and is due to be published by Dog n Bone Books in the autumn. What’s that? You think sandwiches aren’t important enough to fill a whole book? Think. Again. There are some incredible sangers being eaten around the world and I’ve selected the best of them. There’s a recipe for every sandwich featured and the book will have chapters on all time classics; street food; curry and spice; summer and BBQ; ‘project sandwiches’ for when you’re feeling ambitious; well connected sandwiches; a luxe category and also some sweet tings for you strange people who like that weird sugar stuff.
The sandwiches featured veer from the well known like the Japanese katsu sando and the American Reuben, through some you may not have heard of like the Barros Luco, the vada pav and rou jia mo, then right out to the other side to the outrageous, like the francesinha which is a Portugese beast featuring several types of meat, cheese and BEER SAUCE. Beer. Sauce. There’s even a contribution from everyone’s favourite pub landlord, Oisin Rogers of The Ship, who dreamily explains the concept of the fridge buffet.
I thought I’d also offer a little bit of advice for anyone else who is thinking about writing a book. So here goes…
1. Do NOT, under any circumstances, download ‘Ninja Fishing’ for the Iphone.
2. Get a lot of tea in. I thought I drank a lot of tea but it turns out I knew nothing about the upper limits of normal. Nothing.
3. Have other people around like housemates, mates, boyfriend/girlfriend so when someone says, ‘does anyone want anything from the shop?’ You can shout YES!! I would like this and this and this and TEA and this and MILK and this and this and this and on and on and on until they HATE you. Then when your book is published they will feel obliged to buy and rave about it and they will hate you even more*.
3. Buy several new sets of pyjamas. You’ll be spending a lot of time in them.
4. Find a comfy place to work. I’m not a freelancer, and so I’m not used to working from home. Writing a book perched on a wooden kitchen chair with an insufficiently padded cushion beneath your numb arse cheeks for 5 hours is not the way forward.
5. Do not do a PhD at the same time as writing a book.
6. Do not do a a 9-5 job at the same time as a PhD at the same time as writing a book.
7. Download some proper writing software. I had a conversation with a friend that went like this:
Him: ‘what software are you using?’
Me: ‘say what now?’
Him: Oh Jesus, you’re not using Word are you?’
Me: ‘er, yeah’
Him: ‘PAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA (seriously you need to download Scrivener)’
So there we have it. Pretty profound shit I think you’ll agree. As I say, the book will be out in the autumn. At the moment someone else is doing the photography and that kind of stuff which is frankly a huge relief because the idea of ‘food styling’ makes me want to poke myself in the eye with cutlery tied together with raffia, or perhaps a piece of gingham ribbon.*small voice* please buy it…