Top of The Croques

Finding the perfect croque monsieur became a bit of an obsession for me and @donalde for a while, to the point where we had a shared spreadsheet filled with croque locations and notes. We never found a really good one, even in France. The worst I’ve ever eaten though was at The Delaunay; it finished me off and the mission went swiftly on the back burner.

Then one day I find myself snuffling my nose around a bag of Italian truffles and getting very excited at the suggestion we might make a TRUFFLED SUPER CROQUE.

They’re a bit different, these truffs. Known as Bagnoli, or tar truffle, they’re a lot cheaper than the more famous ones (buy them here), and they also need a bit of cooking. Raw, they have a kind of petroleum scent that seems like it should really be getting you high; like if you ate a whole one you’d be tripping your tits off for DAYS. When cooked however, this mellows and they taste a lot more, well, truffly.

So the stages of croque construction worked like this: a slice of really fantastic sourdough, from Wild Caper in Brixton Market (some of the best carbs in London), which has the ability to absorb the sauce while still maintaining some self respect; a softer white loaf wouldn’t be able to handle such an oozy monster. Then, a butter flavoured with rosemary, garlic and Halen Mon smoked salt (HUBBA), followed by ham, a mixture of grated Gruyère and truffle, the other slice of bread, then an obscene wobbly blanket of thick bechamel, again infused with truffle, plus onion, bay and peppercorns. Oh yeah and then a bit more cheese on top. In for a penny and all that…

Holy SHIT. Ho. Lee. Shiiiiiiit. The best croque ever. Croquing amazing. Top. Of. The. Croques.

Afterwards I had to lie beached on the living room floor moaning ‘this is so uncomfortable’ whilst simultaneously being unable to get up and thinking constantly about the bite left in the kitchen that I’d not been able to manage. How could I let that happen? Could I not have dug deeper? Well, no, because I’d hate to sully the memory of such a perfect croque, particularly one that was such a long time coming.

We served it with a salad of endive and spring onion, sharply dressed, which is essential. Do not attempt to consume this sandwich without aforementioned counterpoint.

I’ll leave you with the sandwich money shot, and also a heads up about the kick ass party that KERB are throwing this Thursday which is going to be off the hook. Also, I’m working the bar, so you can come down and get your beer poured by the very same hands that made this croque.  Check out the flyer down below to see all the amazing grub up for grabs…

Ultimate Croque Monsieur

Sourdough white bread
Gruyere cheese – shitloads
1 Bagnoli truffle, or some regular truffle if you’re loaded
Butter flavoured with garlic (which has been blanched in boiling water for 2 minutes), chopped rosemary and smoked salt

For the bechamel

40g butter
20g flour
425ml milk
A little of the truffle, grated
A few peppercorns
2 bay leaves
A slice of onion

Heat the milk gently with the truffle, peppercorns, bay leaves and onion. When it reaches simmering point, take it off the heat and strain into a bowl.

Melt butter and then mix in the flour, stirring vigorously to make a smooth paste. Start by adding the milk slowly, mixing all the time. When about half of it is in, start adding it in larger quantities. The sauce should be smooth and glossy. Let it cook out gently for about 5 minutes, then remove from the heat and season.

To make the sandwiches

Start by toasting the bread lightly. Spread with the flavoured butter, then add a layer of ham, then mix a load of grated cheese with grated truffle and spread that on, thickly. Then add the other slice of bread and top with loads of the bechamel sauce. Add a little cheese on top if you want to be really rock and roll. Place under a low grill until the whole thing starts to melt. It’s good to do this slowly as you want to make sure that the inside is melted. When it’s going nicely, turn up the grill a bit to get the top all nice and bubbly.

Eat with a sharply dressed salad, then have a lie down.

Category: Cheese, Meat, Sandwiches | Tags: , , , , , , 34 comments »

34 Responses to “Top of The Croques”

  1. Shed

    I fucking hate the pair of you xxxxxxx

  2. Helen

    HA HA HA HA xx

  3. Jonathan

    Wowzers trousers. That’s a ridiculous sandwich.

  4. Helen

    Wowzers trousers! Straight into the vocabulary…

  5. Donald Edwards

    love you too Swifty x

  6. Chloe

    I need that in my face RIGHT NOW. Seriously indecent sandwich making, I salute you!

  7. Helen


  8. Deepa

    Jesus christ.

    You are my heroes.

  9. Paul

    Madame where is the egg?

  10. Helen

    We were just discussing the technical difficulties involved in getting the egg right for a croque madame

  11. Catherine

    Blimey. Indecent. I love a good old fashioned American style grilled cheese sandwich, which is essentially griddle or pan fried. Using pain Poilane or something similar, like Wild Caper, butter outside pieces of bread, put sliced cheese inside, (strong cheddar or Comte is good) and choice of sliced tomatoes, thin slices of onion, salt and lots of pepper and cook on each side until browned. Perfection. Serve with tomato soup.

  12. Anne

    Homena homena

  13. foodurchin

    Croquing hell, that croque looks incroquable, you have definitely cracked the ultimate croque, croque crack, that’s what you’ve made.

  14. Helen


  15. Paul

    i have a special little frying pan. Get the oil hot; drop the egg in and you get crispy white and soft yolk every time. Perfect for Croque Madame!

  16. Helen

    I’m not a crispy white fan I’ll be honest, but I’m loving the little pan!

  17. Hungry

    Holy shit (again).

    croque crack – quite so!

    i want. I want. i want

  18. Russ

    Bravo! Any particular ham used, or just what was available? Also I see KERB has a “specially curated wine & beer bar” – have you had a hand in the curating perchance..?

  19. Jim

    Croque Mondieu. Je suis spent.

  20. Lizzie

    helen helen helen. MARRY ME?

  21. Helen


  22. Helen

    Ham was just a cooked ham. I’ve not had a hand in curating really but @donalde has…

  23. Donald Edwards

    the bar @KERB_ will be Camden brewery Helles lager and Wheat beer. The wines will be a Sauvignon de Touraine from Guy Allion and the red will be a Cotes de Rhone from Estezargues.

  24. Russ

    Excellent, thanks guys!

  25. Macrogue

    The. Hammer.

  26. Shu Han

    “Holy SHIT. Ho. Lee. Shiiiiiiit. The best croque ever. Croquing amazing. Top. Of. The. Croques.”

  27. jen

    I dunno, there’s something about the sandwich that doesn’t get my motor going, but can’t put my finger on it because i LOVE all the ingredients you used. And i”m a Frenchie, so why no lovin’ for this Croque Monsieur? Je ne sais pas! BUT what I do always enjoy is the way you write about your food stories. Always entertaining. Here’s hoping your food event on Thursday went off a charm.

  28. Funky foodie

    This looks like the kind of meal you’d request for your last meal…
    1, Because it looks goddamned deliscious.
    And 2, It’s so sinful it may kill you.

    If you ever make this again.. you should try to incorporate white wine into the sauce (a la fondue-style) ..and call it “Croque Au Vin”
    I think it would be a hit =P

  29. Helen

    I am LOVING that pun. I am also annoyed that I didn’t think of it myself.

  30. Donald Edwards

    Right I’m now thinking much much more than just a little bit of white wine in the sauce… maybe it’s the French Dip video I was watching, but I’m thinking something much much worse..

  31. Helen


  32. Vinny Grette

    I spotted the Beard quote in the sidebar, and I get it that this is a sandwich to die for (especially the truffles!!!). But don’t you think it could be worth it to try to come up with fantastic-tasting food once in a while that doesn’t clog the arteries and might contribute to a longer healthier life?

  33. Helen

    I don’t eat this kind of food every day, Vinny, believe it or not. THANKS FOR THE TIP THOUGH ;)

  34. Essex Eating

    Holy Shit. Hoooooly shiiittttt.
    Food porn of the highest order. Amazing.
    That is all.

Leave a Reply

Back to top